Look Around
by what-is-a-social-life
Summary: Tragedy (And unexpected events) can give us a new perspective on life. Clint and Laura are no exception.
**DISCLAIMER: No, I do not own any part of the MCU.**

 **A/N: So, originally, this fic was somewhat inspired by "That Would Be Enough" from** _ **Hamilton**_ **, but it became this instead (Which still sort of incorporates the ideas of "That Would Be Enough.") Enjoy!**

* * *

 _2012_

When she gets the phone call from Coulson at 11:47 PM, already fearing the worst, what he says makes her wine glass fall from her hand and shatter, staining the white rug they'd been meaning to get rid of since Lila had first discovered finger paint. She doesn't even bother trying to clean it up or to make sure Cooper and Lila are still asleep. She has to sit down; the world is spinning too quickly for her to be able to stand.

"Samantha?" Coulson asks, and she laughs quietly.

"Laura, Phil. Has been for six years." She knows he's doing this to distract her, but she can't be distracted, not from this. "What do we need to do? Is Natasha coming? Or Bobbi?"

"You need to get out. Natasha is doing something for Fury and Bobbi hasn't been made aware of the situation; she might not be. I'm landing in twenty minutes."

"Where are we going?"

"The Retreat. Off the record, of course."

"Of course. For how long?"

"Until it's safe."

"We'll be ready."

She wakes up the kids and tells them to pack as much as they can into their backpacks. They ask what's happening, and she can't even begin to tell them anything other than, "Uncle Phil is taking us away for a little while, until Daddy's ready to pick us up." _If Daddy's ever ready to pick us up…_

The quinjet lands silently in their front yard and she shepherds the kids inside and buckles them in before taking the seat beside Coulson, watching as the kids fall straight back to sleep practically on top of each other before she pulls her legs up to her chest in the front seat, resting her chin on her knees..

"Thank you," she whispers. "I know that Clint and I haven't spoken in a while and that his performance has been suffering, and I'm probably the last person you want to be keeping safe right now."

"Who told you that?" Coulson asks, "If anything, he's been trying ten times harder than usual."

She leans her head back against the headrest and sighs, feeling tears shooting out of her eyes.

"I can't lose him, Phil. Not after everything… I wouldn't be here without him, I wouldn't have the two best children in the world. I need to speak to him again, I need to see him again and hold him and kiss him and _apologize_ for not being understanding enough about all of this. I lived this with him and Nat and then I stopped understanding and I need to apologize, I need to now, you have to get my husband back, Phil."

"We're going to. None of us are going to rest until we have him back, Laura; that I promise you."

* * *

She feels like she can't breathe when she sees him again. She'd already spoken to him, seen him on the television fighting _aliens_ , fucking _aliens_ , just a week ago, but now he's actually _here_ , in front of her, for the first time in nine months.

"Daddy!" Lila and Cooper cry, running forward and into his arms. He drops to the ground and holds them tightly. She's trying not to cry, but then he looks up at her, his own face covered in tears he's not even trying to hide, and she loses it.

He lets go of the kids and she runs into his arms, no matter how cliché, and she kisses him for the first time in almost a year and it's wet and they're both sobbing and he's been through hell and she has so much to do to make the last year up to him, but he's _here_ and he's _alive_ and he's _real_ and she can't let him go ever again. She needs him with her from now on.

* * *

 _2014_

S.H.I.E.L.D. has been down for months. Clint's been gone for weeks at a time with just days in between to see them. Being an Avenger is a full time job for him now, just as much as S.H.I.E.L.D. used to be.

It's just this is the most inopportune time for this to happen.

"MERRY CHRISTMAS EVE!" Clint shouts as he and Natasha enter the front door of the farmhouse. Barney and his family aren't arriving until tomorrow for the third annual Barton family Christmas, as New York changed a lot for every Barton.

"Auntie Nat!" Lila yells, racing past her father and straight to Natasha.

"Hi, sweetie!" The kids lead Natasha over to the Christmas tree while Clint wraps Laura in a hug.

"I missed you."

"I missed you, too," she replies, reaching up to kiss his cheek. "We need to talk. And soon, but not until the kids are asleep. And Nat too, probably."

"Is something wrong?" he asks quickly.

"Um… not exactly. I'll explain later."

That night, as if she knows exactly what's happening, Natasha volunteers to put the kids to bed. Clint, before even letting her go get the presents hidden in the shed's toolbox, makes her sit down with him on the couch. They hadn't been great at communication before New York, but now things are different between them, a good different.

"What's going on, Laure?"

"I'm pregnant," she whispered, her hand unconsciously flying to her stomach. Clint gapes at her for a minute, and then laughs, placing his hand over hers.

"Looks like we'll be outnumbered in a few months, huh?"

"Yeah."

"I'll try and be home more often, okay?"

"You mean it? You- You'd trade your job in for this?" she asks, gesturing around at the living room. "There's no way this will be enough for you. Not now, anyways."

"You're right. I'm not 100% ready to give up the Avenging. In fact, I want to do it even more now to make this world a better place for this one, and the two upstairs." He smiles at her, almost guiltily. "I want to try and be here more, though."

"I want that, too."

She leans her head against his shoulder and he places a kiss to her head.

"So, we've got Cooper, Clint, Laura, Lila, and Natasha. One of these is not like the others."

"Then we've got another Natasha on our hands."

"It's a girl?"

"I don't know yet, idiot," she replies, their hands still joined together on her abdomen, their wedding rings mingling together. His hands are just as rough and calloused as she remembers, but there is something about this small, intimate act that makes them seem less like the hands of a warrior and more the hands of a father. But that doesn't surprise her; Clint is both, with equal intensity. "I'm sorry I got pregnant at such a bad time."

"You went into labor a month early with Lila while I was undercover and could not be contacted, and, in case you've forgotten, _Samantha_ , your first pregnancy wasn't exactly under the best circumstances, either."

"It's _Laura._ Do you know how difficult it would be to explain the name situation if one of the kids caught you using it?" He laughs and pulls her even closer, his hand never moving away from hers, though she doesn't want it to.

* * *

The next morning, Laura stands beside the bedroom window as she watches Natasha play with Cooper, Lila, and Barney's three kids in the snow-covered front yard. She hears footsteps in the hallway and turns around, expecting to see Barney or Alex on the stairs, but instead it's Clint with two steaming hot mugs in his hand. She can tell he is trying his absolute hardest not to trip and she finds it incredibly endearing.

"Chamomile tea for milady," he says, bowing slightly to offer he the mug.

"You remembered," she laughs, taking it from him and taking a sip. Just the way she likes it. "I'm impressed. Do you have tea, too?"

"I'm long past the days I drank coffee just to spite you."

"Natasha isn't," she points out, taking another sip.

"No, she's not," he agrees, standing behind her and looking out the window. All the kids have joined forces and are currently pelting Natasha with snowballs. "I know you probably want to wait until we know everything to tell the kids and Barney and everyone, but could we tell Tasha tonight, once Barney's left and the kids are asleep?"

"Of course," Laura replies, leaning back against him. His arm wraps around her waist to rest his hand back against her stomach. With Lila, he said he'd touched her belly so much because he was making up for the first and second trimesters of her pregnancy with Cooper, but that must have just been an excuse, as she can already tell his hands will be all over her stomach. "We're so lucky," she sighs. "Thank God for Loki."

"Must be the most ironic thing in the world that such a crazy guy actually did any _good_."

"So. Back to last night. Will I be introduced to the Avengers anytime soon?"

"When Nat and I think it's safe enough."

"I trust you."

"I know. I trust you, too."

"But, speaking of Nat, we better go rescue her from the children. I leave you in charge of waking up Barney and Co."

* * *

 _2015_

 _Company will be arriving in about two hours_ Clint's text reads.

 _Got it_ she responds.

She rubs her hand over her ever-expanding stomach absentmindedly as she packs up her desk. She knows now isn't exactly what Clint would call "safe," based on their conversation earlier in the week, but she has a feeling their off-the-record house might just be the safest for his team.

* * *

Laura can't sleep, so she heads downstairs to make some hot chocolate and watch some bad movie a channel is sure to be showing. She makes sure she leaves a post-it note on her pillow that tells Clint where she is, as ever since New York he's been more prone to waking up in the middle of the night from a nightmare and then panicking when she wasn't there.

She furrows her brow when she hears the TV playing, though, when she remembers the day they've all had, she's not all that surprised to find Steve sitting on the couch.

"Want some hot chocolate?" she asks conversationally, flicking on the kitchen light. Steve immediately sits up and turns the television off.

"Forgive me, Mrs. Barton."

"It's Laura, and it's fine; I don't particularly care whether you're watching bad TV on the couch or sleeping on Cooper's race car bed," she laughs. "Hot chocolate?"

"Sure," he says, clearly uneasy.

"Do you want to talk about it?" she asks slowly, not looking at him as she begins to gather all of the supplies. "I mean, all I know about the 40s is from history classes, but I am a counselor. Okay, a college counselor, but still." Steve laughs and she smiles, because she feels like she's making progress.

"There's not much to talk about," he says, but she knows he's lying.

"I mean, besides from having to acclimate to a new century, is it PTSD? Or, um, what was it called back then… shellshock? Is that the right term?" He nods, though he's not looking at her. "I don't know what to say about the PTSD other than seek out some help if it becomes too much. And I know it's like a different world now, but Clint says you know your way around a laptop and a smartphone a lot better than he does. How many people actually get the chance to live two very different lives as the same person?"

"It's a blessing and a curse, I suppose," he says.

"Trust me, it is. Before I met Clint and Nat, I was headed down a very different path than this. I may not have been frozen in ice for almost seventy years, but sometimes I feel like I've lead two separate lives, too. And I know for a fact that Clint and Nat feel the same. All of you probably do, except for Thor." He laughs and she passes over his mug of hot chocolate. "I'm always here to talk, okay?"

"Okay," he agrees.

* * *

She hears the 'thud' of something dropping to the floor and turns around. Cooper and Lila are off for a faculty work day and Laura's just started her maternity leave, so they're at home, so she's not at all surprised to have gotten no warning from Clint that he was coming back, considering he knew he would be coming straight here, to them.

"Please don't go to a floating city ever again," she whispers in his ear as he holds her as close as the baby allows, letting her breath in his scent.

"I'm staying right here," he promises, and she sighs. They both know the world will need him soon enough, but for right now, they're just going to enjoy the hell out of this.


End file.
